How to Break the Ice at Your 20-Year Reunion
Posted on March 25, 2009 - Filed Under Class Reunion | Leave a Comment
Despite the fact that you might be dreading your 20-year high school reunion, there are a few things to look forward to… really. Sure, it can be an overwhelming experience to meet up with people you haven’t seen in years, but there is something to be said for reflecting on your life and finding out how far others have come. On the other hand, there is only one of two ways to look at it: Either you consider yourself to be successful and can’t wait to share your story with your former classmates, or you realized when you opened the reunion invitation that you’re still stuck in 1989.
The funny thing about high school reunions is that many people spend weeks or months dreading the thought of revisiting their teenage years, yet manage to have a good time at the actual event. At one point or another, we’ve all wondered what became of someone from our past – and while you may pick a voluntary root canal over confronting the school bully who used to stuff you in your locker, the episode could prove to produce some much-needed closure. Chances are, that intimidating adolescent is now a happy-go-lucky family man. Stranger things have happened.
As you find yourself approaching the door to your former life, you may be engulfed by a string of thoughts. Why am I here? Is it possible to find my ex-lab partner without being recognized by anyone else? If I leave now, will anyone notice? However, overcoming those initial fears is the first step to a potentially wonderful evening. So, where to start?
It doesn’t matter if you recognize anyone – how could you after twenty years? Scan the room for someone standing alone and approach them with confidence. Remember, most of your former classmates are not who they used to be and what you discover may pleasantly surprise you. Begin with a hello and ask how they are enjoying the event. Push yourself to make small talk, even if it’s not usually one of your strong points. Believe it or not, breaking the ice at a reunion is much easier than in other settings because there are so many questions to ask. No matter who you speak to (with the exception of current friends, of course), you have two decades’ worth of information to touch on.
Gain some insight into the lives of former friends, teammates, and even ex-partners by quizzing them about their jobs and families. Before you know it, the ball will start rolling on its own. Unfortunately, most of the apprehension that stems from attending a reunion is the result of our own expectations. It’s true, we can be our own worst enemies, making it extra important to dive right in and conquer our fears. Truth be told, none of us can break the ice without a little bit of poise and a lot of courage, or vice-versa.
The only way to fire up a conversation is by speaking first. There’s just no way around it, and why should there be? Reunions give us a chance to revive old friendships, make new acquaintances, and see where life has taken an entire group of individuals. It even provides an opportunity to right a few wrongs by apologizing to those we hurt so long ago, whether it was a stood-up prom date or overweight teen who was constantly teased.
Not everyone embraces change, so if you find yourself trying to strike up a discussion with someone who appears to be less than interested, there are only three options. You can continue to try to coax them into a dialogue, you can abandon the mission completely, or you can try talking about yourself. It doesn’t take long to get a feel for someone else’s personality, and pushing the issue may backfire in your face. On the other hand, once you’ve found a likely candidate, talking should come fairly easy. Mention the city you live in, the current weather, your spouse or children or neither, and your career. Even if you live in a town you despise or toil away at a job you hate, your comments can all act as icebreakers.
If you’re still feeling apprehensive about launching a conversation with somewhat of a stranger, a teacher makes a great first target. Best of all, teachers are often much easier to recognize than old classmates and often have no trouble maintaining a flowing discussion. Most of them will truly appreciate the details of your journey, from the last day of high school to the present. Once you’ve practice on a few teachers, approaching that former high school sweetheart may seem just a little less intimidating.
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